As we approached talk money week, I had been asking myself the question ‘Where did my money journey begin’, because I honestly never considered it until now.
Before really thinking about it, I could confirm that I knew two things about my money.
- It’s not just mine. It’s also my family’s, meaning I had to consider them too when making money decisions. I come from an Indian culture, where sharing and collectivism is valued, and unity is important. It’s my ‘family and me’, not just ‘me’.
- I’m in a financially strong position for my age, with enough savings for a 5% mortgage deposit.
But how did I get here?
Where does my money journey begin?
I immediately thought about receiving my first student finance payment during university and how this was my first real experience managing money. But then maybe it was joining the working world a few years later, suddenly dealing with a monthly income and the responsibility of bills. But the more I reflect, I realise that though these money moments have taught me a lot about managing money, there is an underlying influence impacting the way I manage it, and why I’m here currently saving for a mortgage.
My money journey began much earlier, at the age of 16, the moment I heard the words ‘we’ve been evicted’ regrettably leave my dad’s mouth.
You could call it a financial awakening, because this was the moment I realised the importance of being financially secure.
I don’t recall my childhood memories as one of struggle - my parents always provided for me, and as the youngest sibling, I was that tiny bit more spoiled. The severity of our financial struggles as a family was never apparent to me, until that moment.
Losing your childhood home, the home where you were born and raised, and the sudden realisation that you’re technically homeless… well…a lot of thoughts run through your head. You experience disbelief, denial, panic, and confusion. You question everything - how, why, and where do you go from here?
Then there was the underlying fear of how other people, other family members, would perceive us. There was shame and the embarrassment hovering over us. There is a famous Hindi phrase often tossed around in Indian culture, ‘log kya kahenge?’ which translates to ‘what will people say?’ because outsider perception is incredibly important in the Indian community.
At that age, I had never had any real experience of money – I had never received pocket money, I had never had a job, and being evicted from the home we owned put into perspective the harsh realities of life.
In a short amount of time, my life transitioned from being a child to being the emotional support for my parents, wanting to help them financially, whilst also dealing with standard teenage life. I
My therapist once asked, ‘why are you worrying about money and this whole situation, when it’s not your problem? It’s something for your parents to deal with.’
She was right in a sense. I was only 16, it was not my financial responsibility. But I couldn’t pretend like this wasn’t happening around me, so I put the responsibility on myself to help my parents.
And this was my financial awakening.
I had this sudden motivation to lift our family back up from rock bottom. I knew I never wanted to be in a position where I wasn’t financially secure, and I didn’t want to have to feel the shame and embarrassment projected on us like it did that day – to be known across our community as the ones who lost everything.
I didn’t know what was going to happen, and I had no control. But I could somewhat control our future choices when it came to money especially when I started earning. I was going to leave behind the ideology we held on to of ‘Log Kya Kahenge’ - I was tired of worrying about what other people would think.
I set myself a goal to give back what my parents lost – their own home. And this would mean saving for a mortgage as soon as I started earning. So, for the past 8 years, this is what I’ve done.
But I didn’t save as soon as I started receiving money.
In fact, it was quite the opposite. I’m not sure you can class student finance as ‘earning’, but it was my first experience of dealing with finances. I had this sudden influx of money that I’d never had before and was able to start treating myself to material luxuries I couldn’t afford before.
With the security of a student overdraft, I adopted a careless nature when it came to spending. I paid for two holidays, because why not? I deserved it. I started driving lessons – though this was a ‘planning ahead’ motive. And I helped my dad when he needed it.
Of course, I never expected to be saving when I went to university – that was something for ‘adult life’ when I had a job. But my carelessness put me into debt, and I maxed out of my student overdraft, before I’d even graduated.
Turning my finances around and saving for a mortgage
When it comes to money, you have to make certain choices to make the change in your life.
The choice I made - Moving back in with my parents after university, which was a decision made around money, and a reminder of my goals. It was as though the university period was my break from reality, and after a long six months of unemployment and finally getting my first job, it was time to put my big girl boots on and work towards the money goals I set when I was 16.
The chance I was given – A chance to actually save. In today’s society, and comparing myself to friends, I realise how hard it is to put money aside, so I’ve been grateful of this privilege. Alongside financially helping my parents, my first priority was to pay off my student overdraft. But because I was living at home and didn’t really have many expenses, I was also able to open a Help to Buy ISA and save a little.
And then came the global pandemic and a lockdown, which meant a lockdown on spending. Financially, the lockdown has been a blessing in disguise for me. It has provided me with the best opportunity to work towards my goal, to make progress on my mortgage savings and pay off my student overdraft completely.
And the change? It’s not only been a change in my financial situation, but life in general. I’m less stressed about money, knowing I have that bit of savings to give me security - my little safety cushion. And with that change, I’ve been more willing to explore other ways of improving my financial situation, like getting a credit card and improving my credit score.
When I think back to being evicted…
It’s only then I realise how far I’ve come.
I can sometimes put myself down, because I still haven’t achieved what I want to, or I’m a long way off. It’s easy to be hard on yourself.
But I remind myself, I have nothing but time and there’s no rush. A few years ago, a mortgage, a house, was something I dreamed of but was out of reach. But from being almost impossible, I’m now almost there.
I’m no longer the 16-year-old girl that was afraid of her situation and worried how people would see her, afraid of what the future holds and the uncertainty. By choosing how I spend my money, deciding what I put aside, and knowing I can financially help my family, I feel empowered. I am taking control over my finances and my future. I won’t be defined as the girl that lost everything, but instead the one that built her own future.
And so, I look at life, and money, as a journey. And my journey is on a pathway up a mountain - it might be a struggle here and there, but the only way is up.
